Waiting For Buses

One of the more irrational pet peeves I have is related to buses. There are a lot of completely rational reasons to be peeved about buses, but this is different. This is really about people 'waiting' for buses. What bugs me is when people step out into the street to look for the bus they are waiting for. I suppose I may just have an intense concern for other people's safety, but I think it has more to do with just finding it pointless. It doesn't make the bus arrive any faster, and if you are in that much of a hurry you should just get a cab. Why should I care if your head gets lopped off by a passing motorist? It may be just the idea that there is an inherent (if not immediately present) amount of risk to stepping into a busy street, and to do so for something so fidgety and useless just makes people look like fools.

Maybe I should drink less coffee before blogging.

The Creeper

Since President seems fond of taking "stalker" photos of his chaos companions (look for chairs), I thought turn-about would be fair play.

I had just thrown a tennis-ball down the sidewalk. Easy pickings.

Current Thoughts on the Presidents

First of all, yay President Obama for bringing down Bin Laden...even though we never saw the body due to some lame story about being buried at sea. Seriously WTF was that all about? Keep up the good work!

No research was done for this statement other than my Twitter feed. 

As for the OTHER President, well, right now he's just a jerk. Oh sure, once upon a time he gave me some spiffy notebooks, but he also accused me of being a child molester just because I challenged him to be creative. Then on numerous occasions I saved his ass while his internet was out, and then took me off the blog to put up some stupid guest account he dared people to use. To top it off, the pictures of sad bears that were promised me, that an entire household aesthetic has been on hold for, are yet forthcoming. Seems rude to promise sad bear pictures and then go gallivanting off to forests and such. And yet I still gave him an awesome Poop Log (uh, no, a poop 'diary', but I should give him the other) and a free Apple remote. Finally he acts like I'm like some 2-bit blog spammer who just willy-nilly ejaculates his URL into his blog comments, when he should know better AND after giving my posts a facial with several links to his posts.

Maybe the extra effort of hiding his foot odor from his boss is getting to him.

It's not just me, he is also letting down his faithful followers by slacking off on his blog. "Hey Pres, see if stranger91409 will fill in for you HUH!?" So I'm declaring this "Hate on President Week"! Ok, maybe just "Day", that's going to be too much work. Plus, I still kind of like him, in that arch-nemesis kind of way.

I'm going to steal all your followers too! Ha-HA!!! Assuming you approve my comments so they can see my blog URL.

Death and Taxes

I had to look this up, but it was Benjamin Franklin who said,

"In this world nothing can be said to be certain, except death and taxes."

Everyone loves a colorful turn of phrase, however, it could be said that a number of homeless people have found their way around the second one; although I'd take taxes over sleeping in the street. And you can believe Walt Disney is frozen somewhere, but he's still dead.

What brought this to my mind was a thought that there were at least two other fairly certain things you can count on...that people will ignore walk signals if they can get away with it, and women will willingly mangle their feet in the name of fashion, and yet no famous people have created a pithy saying about those two.

Chotchkies or Tchotchkes?

The battle to correctly spell this word has been going for centuries! Ok, maybe just a few months. As it turns out, it makes for a rather interesting story which really does nothing to clarify the issue. Unfortunately, since this was yet another abandoned post from about a year ago, I have absolutely no idea what that story was or why it was interesting, so you'll have to use your imagination or wait until I have one of the "eureka!" moments and blog about it before I forget again.

Maybe President remembers, but I doubt it.

Dear Netflix and That Jackass On Market Street

This was actually an abandoned post about Netflix discontinuing streaming service with the CD they sent out so you could stream video on a Playstation 3 and how because the jerk who sold me the PS3 through Craigslist did not disclose that he was selling me the UK version, Sony wouldn't let me play content from the Netflix app on the PS3 because it believes I'm not in the US (which also prevents playing US DVDs). It's a non-issue now since I use my Boxee Box to stream Netflix, but I really enjoyed the title of the post and wanted an excuse to publish it.

Aren't run-on sentences great?!

Snacks on the Moon

While grocery shopping recently I made an interesting discovery in the snack aisle, you can now have a bowl of popcorn without creating any dirty dishes!

Orville, still innovating even after being dead for several years.

So, while Arthur C. Clarke was imagining traveling to Saturn in 2001, we are just now getting our throw away popcorn bowls in 2011, and I can't help but wonder that if we took all the inventing power that has given us the Pop Up Bowl, the Slanket, and the eight Justin Bieber iPhone apps (that's all the farther I could count before feeling nauseous) and put it towards space travel technology, we could probably be eating popcorn on the moon right now.

The fact that Bieber videos exist yet we have no moon colonies sickens me.

Frozen Toast

I recently bought a new toaster which has several special settings, one of which is "Frozen Toast" which I would think would be impossible or at least some kind of time/space paradox. Either you've made some toast and then put it in the freezer and then put it back into the toaster, which is just stupid, or you have some frozen BREAD which you want to toast, but requires heat and burning to achieve thus rendering the toast the farthest thing from frozen.

Maybe I should try the setting...maybe it actually DOES freeze the toast and I'm being silly.

See...true story!

WT...Wifi

I've been watching my weight closely lately because I need to loose...mumble mumble...pounds before I die. I have a fancy scale that actually connects to the Internet and records my weight on a number of fitness web sites. This morning it wouldn't work due to a problem, I eventually discovered, with my wifi network which got me thinking about how dependent I am on the Internet to the point I can't even weigh myself without it.

Ok, that was three sentences. I may have to modify the new rules.

Floating

I really want a deprivation tank like the one Ben Affleck had in the Daredevil movie, but my apartment complex would probably consider that a "waterbed" and not allow it. It just seems like it would be cool to be floating there, maybe have some music piped in, and get a waterproof iPad. It would be kind of like being a vampire or Michael Jackson or is that redundant?

Too soon?

It's ALIVE!

I know what you're thinking...and your mother would be ashamed. Besides that, I bet you thought I was dead, or at least the blog was, and to tell you the truth so did I. So, I bet you're wondering...what's the latest special at Red Lobster, and I'd tell you to stop daydreaming and PAY ATTENTION! You are also probably suffering from ADHD or you are 5 years old. Getting back to the blog, I was getting pretty frustrated on a number of levels from lack of readership to lethargy towards writing, but I kept wanting to come back to it in some form so I decided to give it another shot.

As you can see, I've done what any good marketer does when a company wants to reintroduce a product that has already been on the market but not done well...I've put it in new packaging. Unlike those products, however, I do plan to make some changes. I changed the theme to be simpler and less distracting, but my first choice looked too much like President's blog, so I had to choose something else. In the end, I decided I would just do the exact opposite of him out of spite for making my theme decisions more difficult. So I went with a darker theme and reversed the columns around. Take THAT President! I also settled on Courier for the title font, in sort of an homage the history of journalism where typing away at a typewriter was the way to get the word out...also take it away from President who is into that sort of typewriter thing.

[Meant to put a venomous meme picture here but couldn't find one I liked. Also lost 30 minutes looking at LOLcats.]

To make it easier to get posts out the door, the new format will be posts no longer than TWO sentences...until I change my mind. Perhaps a picture occasionally. It will be a little like Twitter in blog form, maybe or maybe not completing a whole thought. Let's see how that works. Maybe I'll occasionally rant longer about something, but it's the detailed posts that usually hang me up. At least I hope to have something new on a regular basis, even if it is just a stupid picture.

From the first line of results for "stupid picture" on Google...same row, George Bush.