Ch-ch-ch-changes.

I was recently asked to expand on a comment I made about reinventing myself when I came to San Francisco. This post is practically the entire response and required some concentrated musings of the past, so I figured I'd get the most out of it and make it a post.

Trashcan-butt-pig-bank-thing approves this reused text!

This [reinvention] is a tricky one to explain, in part because it was almost 13 years ago, and frankly I didn't have a particular plan. At the time I made the decision to move to SF, I was living in El Paso. I had moved out there to, of all things, start an internet based business. An amateur photographer friend who was working at Ft. Bliss had just had a gallery show of his work and had started networking in the art scene in El Paso. Long story short, we decided to start a business creating custom designed web "galleries" for artists and set up online stores so people could buy their art online. I think it was a great idea that was ahead of its time, but two of the partners in the venture dropped out to go to graduate school (including my friend) and I was left holding the bag. I had been the web guru and site designer and had no interest in the other management aspects at the time, so abandoned the project. We did manage to sell off the files for the web sites that were built for the current clients, so it wasn't a complete financial disaster. I then started looking for regular work in El Paso and the surrounding area, and quickly realized it was not the place for a technology geek. I decided I had two choices, go back to Chicago where I had some tech contacts and look for a job there, or throw caution to the wind and go to SF and try to find a job to establish myself. I was highly motivated to choose SF due to the proximity to Lucasfilm [where I ended up working for 4 years much later], so that is what I did. I gave myself two weeks to find a job and booked a bunk at a youth hostel downtown [ironically I now work just a couple blocks from the hostel]. In less than a week I had a job and the rest is history.

What you need to know to understand the 'reinvention' aspect is that this was perhaps the biggest risk I had ever taken. Outside of the El Paso gig I had stayed pretty close to home and friends and had a safety net. I didn't consider El Paso much of a risk, as much as an extended vacation of about a year. I had just recovered from a car accident and was still on crutches when I went to El Paso. If anything, I went there because I was stir-crazy, but I also thought it might be fun to go somewhere new for a while and see what happened with a startup done on the cheap. So with very little money, my Powerbook 180c, a suit, and no idea what I was going to do when I got there, I booked a flight to SF. Other than Chicago, SF was the only other big city I had lived or worked in. Anyway, somewhere along the way I decided that I had to approach living in SF differently. I didn't have any safety net other than just bailing and going back to Chicago, and I knew I'd have to be more aggressive in my job searching then I had been before. I guess you could say I was somewhat unhappy with my life, but more because it seemed kind of aimless. I didn't have a plan for anything. I felt a little like Michael J. Fox in The Secret of My Success, but without the rich Uncle giving me a job. So, I felt I needed to present myself more professionally and assertively. The idea is that I thought I could better reinforce this behavior by changing little things like which version of my name I used, the clothes I wore, etc. I think overall the process was useful, but it turned out that SF in general is pretty relaxed, and my first co-workers were very casual and didn't act very "professional", so I eventually relaxed as well. In the end, I'm not sure much changed as a result of my attempt to change myself outwardly, but I think I have changed considerably as a result of living and working in SF. I still occasionally like to step back and look for things to change in my life, to make sure I'm not getting too complacent or dull.

Does this count as complacent?

My recent move to the new apartment was probably the current extension of the reinvent procedure, including getting in better shape, riding my bike more, and exploring more of the city. I think something has to happen with work soon too, but right now I'm focused on the personal stuff.