In the incredibly unlikely chance that anyone still hits this blog to see if it was updated, you should know that I am expending all my writing energies on this stupid blog. Apparently I'm some kind of sucker.
Why? I have no fucking clue. I get ignored just as thorough there as I do here, so it's a mystery of subconscious proportions. I probably just feel sorry for President and his lack of internet. I mean, not having Internet would probably kill me, so I may have to invest in a home generator for when the killer solar flare hits us in 2012. Ok, I realize that will not, by itself, sustain the life-giving Internet, but if I start backing up the Internet now I may have enough to keep me busy for a while. I probably won't back up President's web site though.
Ok, so going with my usual zig-zaggy stream of consciousness, here is the trailer for Sucker Punch which is a totally awesome movie with hot girls that know how to kick some ass! I'm really looking forward to it. I could stand to have my ass worked over by a sexy ninja gal.
After you watch this, go watch in it in HD on a big screen. You'll thank me.
Before I start, don't get me wrong, I have a lot of good Japanese friends*, some of whom are a bit quirky at times (I'm talkin' bout you Akira). President Wishnackclaims to be part Japanese, and he IS quirky, but I don't think he counts as a friend, especially after he posted this.
I do admire the Japanese for a lot of things, but sometimes they do shit that...well...makes you wonder what fucking planet they are really from. I seriously doubt I will ever eat at this restaurant. The one benefit would be that I could throw up into my chair.
The video below is all in Japanese, including the text on the YouTube page, but the title roughly translates as:
Long Distance Service 1 Terenoido
"Terenoido" is kind of like saying "telephone droid", the idea being that this thing would be live in your home replicating the movements, expressions, and sounds someone else makes from their phone/computer, in order to create a more interactive experience. Here, have a look...
If you are not totally freaked out by this paraplegic, albino slug hanging out in your living room, you have some serious issues. I would probably never sleep again, fearing that I would wake up with this thing already gnawing up to my knee.
Yeah, no thank you Japan.
On the other side of the coin, Japanese engineers have also developed a "supermodel" robot. At least that one has boobs.
*yes, believe it or not, I am friends with Miho and she is one of the top actresses in Japan. She is super awesome! We also have the same birthday. I wish she would move to the US.
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UPDATE: Ok, ok...amidst a veritable uproar, I went looking for a more reliable source of information, and in my defense, many blogs about the restaurant make the Japanese connection. I finally went to an article at Time online and there was no mention of Japan.
But seriously, have you watched animé? I still say the Japanese have some scary shit going on in their heads.
I was recently asked to expand on a comment I made about reinventing myself when I came to San Francisco. This post is practically the entire response and required some concentrated musings of the past, so I figured I'd get the most out of it and make it a post.
Trashcan-butt-pig-bank-thing approves this reused text!
This [reinvention] is a tricky one to explain, in part because it was almost 13 years ago, and frankly I didn't have a particular plan. At the time I made the decision to move to SF, I was living in El Paso. I had moved out there to, of all things, start an internet based business. An amateur photographer friend who was working at Ft. Bliss had just had a gallery show of his work and had started networking in the art scene in El Paso. Long story short, we decided to start a business creating custom designed web "galleries" for artists and set up online stores so people could buy their art online. I think it was a great idea that was ahead of its time, but two of the partners in the venture dropped out to go to graduate school (including my friend) and I was left holding the bag. I had been the web guru and site designer and had no interest in the other management aspects at the time, so abandoned the project. We did manage to sell off the files for the web sites that were built for the current clients, so it wasn't a complete financial disaster. I then started looking for regular work in El Paso and the surrounding area, and quickly realized it was not the place for a technology geek. I decided I had two choices, go back to Chicago where I had some tech contacts and look for a job there, or throw caution to the wind and go to SF and try to find a job to establish myself. I was highly motivated to choose SF due to the proximity to Lucasfilm [where I ended up working for 4 years much later], so that is what I did. I gave myself two weeks to find a job and booked a bunk at a youth hostel downtown [ironically I now work just a couple blocks from the hostel]. In less than a week I had a job and the rest is history.
What you need to know to understand the 'reinvention' aspect is that this was perhaps the biggest risk I had ever taken. Outside of the El Paso gig I had stayed pretty close to home and friends and had a safety net. I didn't consider El Paso much of a risk, as much as an extended vacation of about a year. I had just recovered from a car accident and was still on crutches when I went to El Paso. If anything, I went there because I was stir-crazy, but I also thought it might be fun to go somewhere new for a while and see what happened with a startup done on the cheap. So with very little money, my Powerbook 180c, a suit, and no idea what I was going to do when I got there, I booked a flight to SF. Other than Chicago, SF was the only other big city I had lived or worked in. Anyway, somewhere along the way I decided that I had to approach living in SF differently. I didn't have any safety net other than just bailing and going back to Chicago, and I knew I'd have to be more aggressive in my job searching then I had been before. I guess you could say I was somewhat unhappy with my life, but more because it seemed kind of aimless. I didn't have a plan for anything. I felt a little like Michael J. Fox in The Secret of My Success, but without the rich Uncle giving me a job. So, I felt I needed to present myself more professionally and assertively. The idea is that I thought I could better reinforce this behavior by changing little things like which version of my name I used, the clothes I wore, etc. I think overall the process was useful, but it turned out that SF in general is pretty relaxed, and my first co-workers were very casual and didn't act very "professional", so I eventually relaxed as well. In the end, I'm not sure much changed as a result of my attempt to change myself outwardly, but I think I have changed considerably as a result of living and working in SF. I still occasionally like to step back and look for things to change in my life, to make sure I'm not getting too complacent or dull.
Does this count as complacent?
My recent move to the new apartment was probably the current extension of the reinvent procedure, including getting in better shape, riding my bike more, and exploring more of the city. I think something has to happen with work soon too, but right now I'm focused on the personal stuff.
So this month has been a blog record breaker for me thanks to President Wishnack and his pedophilia accusations. Silver linings and all that. Frankly, I was hoping for the whiskey. I had a record breaking day, week, and month which until recently didn't matter much to me. I was hoping to break 100 visits to the blog for this month, but then I got lazy about posting, so I may just have to offer up another challenge and see where that gets me...or maybe blog more...Hahahahaha, yeah right.
Why are hits important? It's not like I have sponsors or ads from which to make money. That's not why I write, at least not currently. Really, I only started this blog to keep practicing my writing skills, the idea being I could write anything I wanted here. I also wanted a venue in which I could rant whenever I wanted. The funny thing I discovered about writing is that it is not nearly as satisfying if nobody is reading it. I also find myself writing to an audience instead of to myself because I know other people 'might' read it, so it almost demands a response.
Pretty much any time I hang out with President Wishnack, I have to listen to him obsess about his hit count for the day until a smoke break or alcohol distracts him. I'm not even sure why he cares, come to think of it, but it has apparently infected me as well, although not as severely. What irks me most is that out of 70+ visitors to the blog this month, there were maybe two people responding if that. Now maybe I should be satisfied that someone came to the blog, but how do I know they read it? How do I know it impacted or inspired them? Why does it even matter to me?
I guess it is about receiving some kind of validation. Knowing I'm not crazy or that my random thoughts made someone else think, would at least indicate that I wouldn't be just as well off in a coma. What is it that makes some people want to make people think in order to reach out to them? I have no idea but I bet I will have no more than two people offering their opinions about it.
"I'm thinking of something beginning with the letter 'P'."
Well, I have to say, I am very disappointed in all of you. There is a very good chance that you have arrived here after reading this post. And you probably are thinking one of two things:
1. Those bail bondsmen work quick.
2. America has loose morals and will let anyone walk the streets.
I is innocents I tells ya!
A couple things you should know about me is that I would never defile a vintage Star Wars figure, and, while I have dated someone 15 years younger than myself, they were legal and were not male. They also broke my heart guaranteeing I would never date under the age of 30 again. And honestly, I'm not a big fan of naked children...hell, even cherubs make me feel queasy.
Frankly, the response to this story has only proven that you, not I, are the horrible, depraved individual. Sensationalism is the killer arrow in the tabloid journalists quiver of bait...and you people fall for it every time. Your morbid curiosity and eagerness to swim in the filth of exaggerated storytelling is the hallmark of our society and the reason we still don't have flying cars. Seriously, more money goes into porn and video games than any other industry. I'd show you the studies, but you just think I fabricated them to support my convictions.
And to what do we owe this piranha-like frothing of internet traffic...or to WHOM rather?! It's this man...
Seriously, all he thinks about is McDonald's french fries, when he isn't maligning characters.
(even his clothes are McDonaldsish)
And yet YOU, the gullible public, are willing to eat up any grandiose story he is willing to throw out at you, like chum in shark infested waters. Ok, seriously, I've got some kind of seafood action going on...which only goes to prove I like women!!!
Note to self: Don't blog while drunk after soul-crushing defamation of character.
The REAL truth of this whole story is that it is an elaborate cover-up to mask the horrible guilt that the President is trying to deal with for STANDING ME UP TO GO JOIN A CULT! Oh sure, we were going to have a couple of beers...maybe some pizza...enjoy some traditional Hawaiian music...BUT NO! This guy was off fraternizing with his new spaceship-worshipping puppets...probably dancing around in robes all commando-style and having orgies and Kool-aid.
Ok, I have to admit the orgy part doesn't sound bad. But I'd be very careful of ANYTHING you read on this guy's blog. Seriously...he has issues.
I'm still digging my way through possessions after my move two months ago. Anyone who has moved recently, unless you are this guy, knows that moving means having a trickle of boxes all over the place for several months...unless you have a basement where you can dump it all for the next 10 years. Seriously, nothing helps you reduce clutter and figure out what is really important like moving to a smaller space.
Within the last week or so, I have made some major strides in getting the living area presentable. Most of the boxes are gone and I can freely move furniture around. The "entertainment center" has been up and running almost since day one. I'm really digging the TV stand I got which raises the LCD TV up and allows me to tilt and rotate it. Also, there is more room for my gaming consoles and chotchkies.
The Great and Powerful LCD!
(too lazy to Photoshop Oz into the screen)
So, order is slowing coming to the apartment, but like the Dude's rug, I needed something to pull the room together. Really, in my case, it was more about making a creative, symbolic gesture that this was "home". I had already known what it was going to be for some time, but it took several years of it resting in storage and the impulse to dig it out and unpack it for it to become a reality. Unlike most of my previous dwellings, I wanted this new one to say a little more than "I like Apple and movies" with my various framed posters. I wanted the expressions to be a little more subtle, a little more varied, and a bit more...three dimensional.
Voila! My first 3D wall sculpture, AND the first thing I put on my new walls.
What makes this sculpture even more significant, beyond the catharsis of designing a new home, is that this sculpture used to hang in my grandparents home. I remember it very clearly as a child being fascinated by it and the fact that it was more than a picture. I was always careful, but it was fun to touch. It is basically all sculpted brass, copper, and wire. The picture doesn't have the best lighting but shows off the color tones the best. It has a very warm tone with it's golds, oranges, and browns. It very much reminds me of my favorite season, Fall, which I essentially gave up by moving to California. I had found out, in my childlike curiosity, that it would make sounds if you touched it. The tiny echos of metal and vibrations. It also seems strong and fragile at the same time. And it was this attachment that prompted me to acquire it when my Grandmother passed away, as it had also hung up in her newer home for many years before she passed. So like the illusionary raindrops that hit the brass umbrellas, memories and feelings drip off this sculpture creating ripples in my mind and heart. It's the first thing I have hung up that makes me think...."home".
I'm sure some of you think that Trivia comes from Trivialvania. You are obviously stupid and I don't want you reading my blog. On second thought, I think I only have two readers in spite of having three subscribers, so go ahead and read it, but as soon as I have thousands of readers, please go away. Seriously.
Where was I...oh yes, trivia. According to most dictionaries, trivia is defined as...
pieces of information of little importance or value
It is arguable that any piece of information that exists has, or has had, some significance at some point in time, otherwise why would it even exist?! Trivia, whatever it's original purpose now finds it's primary purpose is to drive millions of alcoholics, or would-be alcoholics, to bars and pubs across the nation in a socially acceptable manner. It is for that very reason that I tend to latch onto odd bits of trivia I stumble upon. I'm not officially an alcoholic yet, but I have lofty goals of achieving it.
Here is the place in the post where I bring "trivia" and "stupid" together in a way that looks like I planned the whole thing from the beginning. Many years ago, before everything was in Wikipedia, people would actually discover new things that people had never seen or heard about before. These people were probably rich, or stupid, or...well, I already said "rich" didn't I. Rich people probably discovered a lot because one, they had the money to do it, and two, they were the only ones who could take four month vacations without their family starving to death. Anyway, these people were probably "on safari" complaining about the heat when they saw an odd thing standing next to a tree, that had a very long neck, and was yellowish with brown spotty patches. Being not particularly clever people, they saw SPOTS and LONG LEGS as the dominant characteristics. The one thing they knew had spots was a leopard. Disney had not yet released 101 Dalmatians apparently. Also, the one thing they knew had knobby, long legs was...a camel. So being the amazing, creativity-barren people that they were, they called this creature a camelopard. Brilliant.
Have you guessed what it is yet? (What blows me away is that my spell-checker actually knew how to spell camelopard)
Anyway, this is the odd video that turned me onto this bit of trivia along with an alternative to my stupidity theory.
Heh...the new, compact, selfish dog.
What's even more interesting is that I was led from the previous video to THIS one..
Seriously, nothing could be cooler that having trivia eventually lead to a hot woman with a sexy foreign accent. Probably what is even sexier is that she actually knows the history of the camelopard, rather than a far-fetched theory, which puts her one up on the rich, stupid people....I mean Greeks. See I learned more trivia. I also learned that David Mitchell has some other funny stuff and even better, he has an iPad/iPhone app for his rants. See, now I even squeezed some tech in there.
So, if you bothered to read this all the way through, you are probably not as dumb as when you came and if you keep it up I won't have to kick you off after those 1000 readers pile up.
There is also a good chance you are watching those other Hot For Words videos and have a woody.
